Buy a Bucks Ticket, Get a 10 Day Contract

The Bucks recently traded Tyrone Lue to Orlando for Keith Bogans. This is one of those 'meh' trades that most people don't even realize happened until they watch a game or two and say to themselves, "I didn't know Keith Bogans was on the Bucks." Bogans is a 6'5" off guard and Lue plays the point. Neither of them are starters and both are probably third stringers. The Bucks still had Ridnour and Sessions to play point and Charlie Bell could fill in for a couple of minutes a game. No big loss, right? Wrong. The day after Lue was traded Ridnour broke his thumb in practice (apparently he caught it in the jersey of a teammate. Rumors that he was trying to hitch a ride as Sessions was blowing past him are unsubstantiated at this time) and is now out four weeks. So that leaves the Bucks with one honest to goodness point guard on the roster in Sessions.

This injury is just salt in the wound for the Bango and Co. Michael Redd went out for the season with a knee injury in late January and Andrew Bogut is done for eight weeks with a back as crooked as a politician. Needless to say the Bucks are a depleted squad. But at least they have a modicum of depth at shooting guard and center. Granted, Gadzuric hardly even qualifies as an NBA player but he gets paid and puts on a uniform and I hear from childhood playmates that he's good at playing the pretend game so maybe he can fake it for two months.

Point guard is a whole 'nother situation. I like Sessions and think he has a chance to be a decent starting guard in the NBA but he can't play 48 minutes a game. And there's no way Charlie Bell can play point for more than 10 min a game or his knees might burst (it would be like the NBA version of Scanners).

So what's a Bucks coach to do? According to Scott Skiles, he'll "try to balance it" which is coachspeak for "We're hosed. We have no bench. If Sessions gets hurt, I may have to sign myself to a 10 day contract." Hammond is probably scouring the D leagues looking for a serviceable replacement (Marbury would have been interesting at the right price) but I have another suggestion; open tryouts for ticket holders. I can almost guarantee there is NBA talent as valuable as Dan Gadzurich roaming the streets of Milwaukee. Heck, it could be Milwaukee's version of Invincible - a street smart kid from the north side of Milwaukee catches the eye of NBA GM John Hammond who, under pressure from US Senator and friend to the common man Herb Kohl, signs the kid to a 10 day contract expecting him to stay on the end of the bench. People from all over Milwaukee come to see the hometown kid put on a Bucks uniform three sizes too big with no name on the back and a double zero for a number. On the day his contract is set to expire, Sessions goes down with an injury against Cleveland. Skiles points a bony finger in the kid's direction and says "Get in there and run the (expletive) point". Actually, since this is most likely a Disney production, he'd lose the expletive but you get the gist. The kid goes in and his first shot is an air ball. Lebron James walks over to him and says "I didn't know they grew them so small in the 'hood". This is all the motivation our hero needs. Maybe we flash back to a drunken father telling him he will enver amount to anything. He hits one shot and then another. Cue "I Believe I Can Fly" by R Kelly and we enter a slow motion montage of him hitting all sorts of acrobatic shots and throwing passes that would make Warren Beatty blush. He sets the world on fire and the crowd goes into a frenzy. It's like the Jason McElwain game times a thousand. As the clock winds down the Bucks hold the ball down one. He drives through the lane and is hacked quite violently by James as the buzzer sounds. The crowd boos, paper cups are thrown, Skiles is beside himself. Labron James confronts him during the stoppage in play and tries to stare down our protagonist. Our boy stares right back. He steps to the free throw line. Long story short, he makes both shots, wins the game, gets signed for the rest of the season, leads the Bucks to a playoff spot, and ends up on the motivational speaking circuit telling overpaid middle managers that they too can achieve if they set their minds to it.

Unfortunately, union rules probably preclude this from ever happening which is unfortunate because it would make a heckuva movie....even if he bricks the free throw.